Our society has many faults, but one I really don’t understand is how the negative appearance, particularly concerning weight, is considered an acceptable and time-consuming topic of conversation.
I hear it all the time. “Have you seen how fat she’s getting?”, “Jeez, he needs to get a bra for his manboobs”, and “She’s too skinny. I bet she never eats” are commonly phrases used to poke fun at someone, and I personally find it disgusting. It’s time that this kind of superficial categorization is stopped.
First of all, how is talking about someone’s weight even interesting? Yeah, maybe being anorexic or obese is unhealthy and not particularly attractive, but why the duration of the discussion is longer than two seconds is a mystery to me. Is someone who feels a compulsive need to criticize the appearance of others simply such a boring person that they have to attack others in order to come up with a topic to talk about at all? If not, then why not discuss something else? There’s plenty of topics out there that are more relevant. To me, even gossipping about that one girl that hooked up with that one basketball player is more mature than talking about weight. At least the former actually reflects on who the person is, even if it the content may distort the truth.
Which brings me to the second point. How does someone’s physical appearance show who they are on the inside? Believe it or not, some people actually believe that those with a healthier weight have better personalities than their over or underweight counterparts. Overweight people are stereotyped as lazy while underweight people are said to be overconforming to society. This is not always true. Body shape is strongly correlated with genetics, and sometimes there is not a lot someone can do to change it. If a person is genuinely nice, then who really cares? It’s not your body, so don’t judge it. And by the way, you really don’t have to check it out. No one is forcing you to stare at anyone’s cellulite. Even if they’re wearing short shorts, you can still look elsewhere, maybe into their eyes, where most people prefer you look anyway.
And if that isn’t enough to convince you, think of how the person talked about feels. He/she is probably already really self-conscious about themselves, and they don’t need you to rag on them even more. How would you feel if you overheard people criticize you for something as trivial as your body shape? Not so good, right?
It’s not even just preteen girls that do it. It’s guys, girls, men, women of all ages. It’s universal, but if you happen to be one of the few that refuse to participate in this superficial trend, then kudos to you.
In conclusion, next time you run out of topics to discuss, try talking about somthing that doesn’t make fun of someone else. There’s so much more variety in that category, and I’m sure you’ll find that they’re much more fun to discuss anyway.
-chelliejellie10
I’d agree, this distasteful disregard of others’ emotions is ridiculous, I mean, I have no problem or care for anyones’ weight, it’s their own concern, I prefer to care about someone’s personality over something as trivial as aesthetics
Wow, I believe just the opposite. First of all, obesity shows a lot about someone’s character, which you seem to be so obsessed about, if someone is fat it is not just genetic, though genetics may cause someone to be more likely to look fat, besides body shape has nothing to do with what someone’s body fat percentage is, though it may change how they look. That person can still keep their weight low, and look good. I don’t see obesity as someone just being lazy, but having a complete lack of self-control, eat less and go for a run once in awhile and I gurantee you that person will see results. Oh, and if “that person” is so self-conscious, they would be working to reduce their weight, not defending their obesity. You may not want to hear this, but people treat better looking people better. I’m sure even you do it, no matter how subconscious it is. Criticism is good, by the way, if my negative comments have encouraged someone to get in shape, I would gladly hurt that person’s feelings once again.
That’s a very rough way of looking at it Seraph, but you brought up some good points. It is true that, especially in America, good-looking people are treating better than “not-as-good looking” people. There have been many studies done, and it’s been tested to be true. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t fight out subconscious and treat everyone equally, no matter their appearance. We should be able to help everyone out and respect their opinion in the same matter, whether they are 40 lbs or 400 lbs.
Well, Seraph, the thing is, most of the people I hear talked about aren’t medically obese. They’re just a little on the chubby side, and I don’t really consider that a problem if it’s not me. Yeah, if you’re actually obese, that’s a problem, but even then, if you have to say something, do it nicely, showing you’re saying it because you care, and do it to their face rather than gossip with your friends about how hippo-like they are.
“obesity shows a lot about someone’s character”
I find that most fat people are the funnest, they learn to live with people talking crap to them, and actually have great self esteem, where as skinny people can get the feeling that they need to stay skinny and live up to people’s expectations. Sometimes, it’s skinny people who have the worst self esteem. Obviously, this doesn’t count to everyone.
And I’m not trying to call you out, just thought what you said was a good way to open my opinion. But I feel the need to point this out: the point of the article was to say that you shouldn’t talk badly about people because of their weight and looks, not why obese people are bad people.
Exactly =)
In accordance with FRUIT, I am not attacking you personally Seraph, (he who has tried to thwart my every comment!) but I think that your view is both “right” and “wrong”. I do agree that obesity shows something about character, but I do think that your blatant attack on their overall personality is going a little too far. For instance, sure, obesity does affect a person’s personality in regards to sports and food, but in a conversation, they tend to be the most psychologically open and adaptable people I have met…
I completely agree. Everyone is different and I don’t think anyone has the right to judge someone on their appearance, especially because there are probably several attributes about them they could easily be judged on and they too would feel bad, and then their self esteem is lowered just like the people they poke fun at. I completely agree with you on this!
I’m going to take the instinctual and health route on this.
I guess subconciously as a society we instinctually look at individuals on a health based agenda because I think we’re all driven towards survival as a species and ‘good’ genes and all that jazz. When we see people who are overweight we tend to think “unhealthy” or even “gross”. Maybe that’s just a deep down instinct to remind ourselves that healthy people make more healthy people in a general rule of passing on traits and such.
Dazzlestars, you bring up a good point. However, just because you don’t want to reproduce with someone doesn’t mean you don’t want to associate with them, at least generally speaking.
chelliejellie: Well yes, but you would be more inclined not to associate with them than if they were more healthy appearing, generally I feel.
To me, it all comes down to choice. I’ll admit it, I have slightly less respect for extremely overweight people. However, I find it way more justified than having disrespect for someone because of their age, race, or gender.
First of all, obesity is not a genetic problem. And even if it is, plenty of people overcome it. Obesity is an addiction to food.
Sure, it requires work to lose weight– I never said it was easy. But that’s just it, isn’t it? They don’t put in that extra effort: Taking a walk or bike ride, eating a Lean Cuisine (and only that) for a meal, parking a little farther away from the grocery store, cutting out fast food– things that could make a big impact over a period of time. And don’t even get me started on working out.
So, do I hate fat people? No, not at all. But I simply don’t have that level of respect for them, mostly because of their self discipling level. But I couldn’t have any more respect for those people that DID go that extra step, and who DID lose that weight, because it tells me that they wanted something, and they worked for it.
Does that make sense to all you?
Yes it does =)